"A Gallery of Brilliant Quotes"

 Out of the Mouths of Babes...

 B: If you are a relativist and you are smoking and someone asks you to stop, should you do it?

 S: If someone is smoking and you ask them to turn it off -   I mean...  If someone offers you a cigarette... Wait.   What was the question? (Youri Y.)

 "Don't worry, it's just tape; it's not the sticky kind."  (David W.)

 "Isn't milk cow pus?"  (Erin B.)

 "Is Ellen de Generes gay?"  (Erin B.)

 B: Uh-oh!  This test has no name!

Dylan: Whose is it?

 B: uh... no name...

 B: There are simply certain words I do not want to hear in class, directed at anyone.  For example, there aren't any dogs in class, so I don't expect I'll be hearing the word "bitch."

 S: But what if you are talking about dogs, like: 'Mah bitch just had babies.'  uh...  (Marco, the student, suddenly turns red and gets very, very quiet, which makes the class laugh loudly at his embarrassment.)

 Assignment: Write a sentence using the word "motto":

 Response: My favorite motto would be: 'Inteligint is not measure from toe to head, it's measure from head to sky.'  (R.M.)

 Student #1: Why is it so dark in here?

 Student #2: Because there's no light!

 In an ESL assignment, students were asked to describe various animals and nationalities:  "Them whites is dogs."  and "I am more nervous than German." 

 Lost student at the beginning of the year: "This ain't my class!"

 When asked to identify the nouns in a sentence, sophomore honors student Wren S. confessed: "I don't know what a noun is!"

 Andrew: I did good on this!

  Julia:  *Well*!  Geez!

  Andrew: [confused] Well?

  B: Now pass in your Architecture tests.

  Andrew: I did good on this one too!

  B: You *done* good, Andrew.

B: The whole Michael Jackson thing is a ploy to get Americans' minds off what?  (referring to the slow hemorrhaging of lives in Iraq)

Stephan W.: Kobe!   (Referring to the Kobe Bryant rape accusation trial and knowing full well what answer I was fishing for!)

Student in Mr. Casey's class, while discussing the Odyssey [accidentally referencing the Sadie Hawkins' Dance]:  Isn't there a dance called Hades?

Conversation between Christy Marsden (selling candy) and a student:       Francisco: Can I borrow a dollar?                                                       Christy:  No.....                                                                          Francisco: Can I borrow a candy?

 Wise Words from (or about)  OHS Staff

 "I hope I die during a school in-service.  That way the transition between life and death won't be noticeable."  - Maria Lobo, teacher at OHS

 "Water is cheaper to buy so its price is lower."  (M.M.)

 "Mr. Flint is non-negotiable." (David W. on Mr. Flint)

 "Mr. Hilburn is a good teacher if you already know what you're doing."  (N.J.)

 "Statistics is really based on statistics."  (D.S., OHS Stats teacher)

 "Thinking is not hard.  You just have to do it."  (L. Hilburn)

 "Males are driven by hormones.  They'll even hump logs."  (K.F.)

 "French is like math... just without the numbers." (D. Youngermann)

 Student: Could you explain what the World Trade Organization is?

 M.M.: The World Trade Organization is an organization that regulates trade around the world.

 M.M. "The difference between 40 and 40 is 40.

 M.M. "Only use a calculator with numbers."

 C. Conte: "The easiest ones are the hardest to get."

 Student: Where should I sit?

 MM: The desk with the dark blue chair.                                          (Editor's note: ALL the desks have dark blue chairs.)